Chiang Mai 3

Before I get all spiritual, I would like to take a moment to a) curse this computer keyboard that pulls up QuickLinks every time I try to write an apostrophe, and b) recognize the restaurant I went to with David and Porn on the night of the 15th, because it was really something. It was a large, open-sided warehouse, like the Costco of restaurants, with metal tables and plastic chairs, and I swear there were maybe 300 people having dinner while we were there. Dinner was a buffet of raw foods that you cooked yourself, on a burner at your table; entertainment consisted of a mixture of John Denver covers and bizarre, unintelligible Thai comedy that invlolved a lot of slapsticks and timed laughter. (David told me that the average Thai joke involves a ladyboy, a dwarf, and a person with Downs...)
The next morning, I took a stroll down to Wat Phra Sing, which is very wat-y, as wats go; enjoyed an avocado (!) smoothie (which was delicious); and was taken, by Porn, to the MonkChat headquarters, to begin the meditation retreat. It started with a monk giving a rambling slideshow introduction to Buddhism; this included a short French animated film about ants trying to crack a walnut with a bocce ball, cheesy digital religious illustrations, and much sermonizing about poverty and terrorism. I was obviously relieved to be done with that and take a song-taew (truck taxi) to the clean, modest Buddhist university campus outside Chiang Mai, where the retreat was to take place. Once there, we (eighteen Westerners) changed into white clothes, which made us look terribly cult-ish, and, after a bit of socializing, began our period of silence with dinner. We were asked to contemplate our food before eating, and to chant a Pali prayer about not being gluttonous. Everybody ate very slowly; it almost seemed like a contest to see who could be the most mindful. (A French-Canadian fellow won by a long shot; he was still chewing thoughtfully as the rest of us left.) After silently wandering the grounds for a bit, we began assorted meditation and chanting exercises, and things just got amazingly spiritual and transcendent. During our first sitting meditation, I was just concentrating so intently on my breathing that I fell into this sort of trance-like state, just this feeling of absolute serenity and emptiness. It was as if I, that is, me, the entity, had ceased to exist; I was just in formless communion with all of creation. After an eternity, or a second, of floating in this state, I began to have a vision, of a mighty, indescribable boddhisattva, who seemed to beckon me, like a holy guide - and then I chundered EVERYWHERE! Yeah, we had been on the lash the night before...No, I kid, that joke is getting old. (If you do not get the reference, look up "Gap Yah" on Youtube. Do it.) Seriously, it was a struggle to keep my mind clear, and I was pretty pleased to just reach a state of relaxation. But I came out of it feeling very serene, and I do think I will continue meditating, if only to feel a little more relaxed. I also met some nice people, which is always pleasant.
After the retreat, I headed back up to the elephant home to resume teaching and working. Nothing too eventful happened there, apart from eating flying squirrel soup for breakfast one morning. It is currently the Thai new year, Loi or Lorng Kratong (not sure which), and last night the village set off hundreds of paper fire balloons,which was quite beautiful. I am in Chiang Mai tonight; David and Porn took me to a parade, which consisted of lots of Thais in traditional dress walking. The only truly entertaining part was an older, asiatic fellow, who strolled into the parade and commenced to take pictures of himself with the walkers, whom he would then show the pictures to. After a bit of this entertainment, D&P left and I strolled alone down to the river, to watch the traditional flower boats float by. This was not terribly exciting either, but I enjoyed seeing all the people walking around, and hearing the music. The couples and groups of friends walking around made me feel a bit lonely however :(
One final note: in search of a fruit shake, I wandered into a sort of square where many merchants had set up. This would not have been notable, except for the musical entertainment on display, several young Thai girls who presented some sort of out-of-tune musical drama. This, and the Thai classical music (read: gongs, drums, and oboes playing one chord forever) incessantly playing throughout the horrendously long parade (how many people carrying lanterns do we seriously need to see?) made me pity the discerning Thai music fan, whoever he is. Anyway, more excitement to come...LYA